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August 21, 2012
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MLP anthro sketch - Rarity and Twilight by NauticalSparrow MLP anthro sketch - Rarity and Twilight by NauticalSparrow
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I sketched this months ago and have been coming back to it again and again to fix things. It all looks sort of good to me but I want to know if it looks good to you guys.

Image Insperation
This idea was inspired by episode 3 "The Ticket Master" when Rarity gives Twilight Sparkle "a make over!". Well Rarity goes a little over board, giving Twilight Sparkle an embarrassed shock! "R-rarity!?" "It's simply fabulous!"

Please critique this!
I up-loaded this to get constructive criticism from you guys on what looks good and what might be changed. If I have to redraw the whole thing I will, but I just want to know what could/would make this better. Things to look at:

- anatomy : the only thing that I use a reference for was twilight sparkles stomatch

- poses : do they look good? natural? should they be more dramatic?

- expressions

I KNOW THAT SOME PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE PEOPLE DRAWING THEIR FAVORITE PONIES ECCHI/SEXY, that is ok, but please do not troll, flame or bash me or anyone else that may enjoy it. Thank you.

HERE IS THE "BEFORE AND AFTER" :



art/sketch *NauticalSparrow
Rarity and Twilight Sparkle Hasbro
Add a Comment:
 
:iconoperia:
Operia Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
After looking at the "before/after" version of the image, I've deduced that this is a sketch and not your finished product. Because of this, I'll try not to be too pedantic about image quality, and touch on it quickly now.

The line-art is scratchy and in places uneven, which I believe was remedied (for the most part) in the final version. That's all I really have to say on the image quality.

The anatomy of the two females is a little off in places. One thing that jumps out at me is the arms of the female on the left hand side of the image. Her left arm seems to be detached from her shoulder. This could be remedied in two ways; either by making the arm skinnier at the base where it becomes hidden behind the other female's arm, or draw the shoulder bending down slightly more; at the moment it seems to be pointing out a bit too much, which would suggest the arm is extending away from the body.

Another thing to point out is the right arm of the right hand female. The elbow looks odd; it should be centred more, using the palm's position as reference. Also, the upper part of her arm seems a little too bulky, although this may also be fixed by moving the location of the elbow.

Hopefully you found my advice useful, and continue to improve your style
Reply
:iconnauticalsparrow:
NauticalSparrow Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you for taking the time to look and give me some advice. This was just a rough sketch, it wasn't supposed to be completely clean, I wanted to know what I should fix before I did the line art because it would be a big hassel to have to redo the line art each time. So I would like if everyone would ignore the "quality" of the image when critiquing.

So left females (Rarity) left arm needs some fixing and the right female (twilight) right arms elbow needs fixing, got it!
Reply
:iconoperia:
Operia Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem, I'm glad you found my advice somewhat useful :)
Reply
:iconronmart12:
ronmart12 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
can I color this?
Reply
:iconnauticalsparrow:
NauticalSparrow Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
No, you cannot.
Reply
:iconronmart12:
ronmart12 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
okay
Reply
:iconnauticalsparrow:
NauticalSparrow Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Yea sorry :( but thank you for asking.
Reply
:iconronmart12:
ronmart12 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
it's alright
Reply
:iconcolonelyeo:
ColonelYeo Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
That is looking fantastic so far!

I love Rarity and Twilight's faces. Plus the detail work on that outfit...
Reply
:iconmylietus1991:
Mylietus1991 Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Professional Writer
wunderful
Reply
:icondanavia:
Danavia Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Student General Artist
Simply fabulous, darling! Other people have already said what looks kind of off, but I don't really have anything to add except I think I'd prefer it if Rarity's mouth was a... bit less anime? Like if it was wider and you could see her teeth as she grinned. But this is all just personal preference xD; ignore meeee~
Reply
:iconnauticalsparrow:
NauticalSparrow Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
I actually might adjust her mouth a little lol thank you very much for the comment!<3
Reply
:iconkittizak:
kittizak Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
can't wait to see this finished
Reply
:iconseibersaiban:
SeiberSaiban Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
Breaking into the lingerie part of fashion, eh.
Reply
:iconadan-cricjer:
Adan-Cricjer Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Interesting take on the scene, though the depiction of the outfit completely changes the context. Instead of dressing Twi up for the Gala, it looks like she's dressing Twi up to seduce someone that Twi has eyes on which is...well, actually that's pretty much what I could Rarity doing in such a situation. (Among sundry other things.)

Twilight: " But Rarity, I'm meeting the Princess in..."

Rarity: "Oh, you have a crush on your teacher? How ROMANTIC! Tell me all about it, while I figure out just the right look for you darling."

Twilight: "But Rarity--"

Rarity: "Hush, hush darling. I'll find you the perfect look. Now what would Princess Celestia make of the sexy librarian look...?"

--------------------------------

As for the technical aspects of the drawing itself?

Anatomy - Overall fairly sound for the anime pin-up look you're going for. Mind you I'm the odd geek who's rusty at drawing in and commenting on this style because my own artistic inclinations have moved far away from that. Still everything looks pretty sound except for two things:

a.) Twilight's left arm is a bit longer than her right, and yet it's the arm further away from the audience. Still this is an easy enough mistake to make and one that gets less common with practice.

b.) Her legs are square or need to taper at least a little from the thigh down to the knee. Not a lot, just a little, but enough emphasize some feminine curves, particularly in the pin-up look you're going for. Again this is something that can be addressed through practice. So they are not serious deficiencies as much as things to work on over time.

I'm actually envious on how well you got the fingers down, which are the eternal bane of my existence as an artist.

Poses - Your poses are basically spot-on for the characters and the situation they are in. I think the poses are bit static and obvious in some ways, though I honestly cannot make suggestions that wouldn't involve changing the composition of the piece. You could try Rarity leaning in to adjust things, though it might work better with a different composition. I would suggest using references of people awkwardly leaning back for poses such as Twilight's in the future. Even acknowledging the pin-up nature of the work it would make the scene more lively, and I think more humourous.

Expressions - The expressions suit each character just perfectly and are probably the best rendered part of the piece. The only thing that doesn't work to my mind is that the head-shape and facial features are probably a bit too anime cartoony for the characters' bodies. I wouldn't jettison the anime look entirely, though I would make the noses larger and adjust the chins to be less of a point, and have curves a little more similar to human chins in real life. Maybe I'm just looking for a longer faced, more angular anime style for this kind of pin-up than actual realist style. I could be wrong, but I think that would smooth out any inconsistency between the bodies and the faces.

Overall nice piece. It will be interesting to see where you can take this style in the future.
Reply
:iconnauticalsparrow:
NauticalSparrow Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
The outfit is kind of random, but I wanted something suggestive and simple while still showing her cutie mark as well as Rarity's signature jeweled pieces. It kind of came out looking a jeweled swimming suit lol. Maybe Twilight needed a new swim suit? I didn't really have a situation for the reason why Twilight needed Rarity to help her out.

In my older drawing of anthro ponies I did draw the noses bigger and I kept getting "why are their noses so big?" so I started drawing them smaller. The faces I could draw them longer (more a mature look) I'm just so used to drawing younger characters that I sometimes forget to lengthen them for older characters.

and just so that everyone knows this is not a shipping piece of any kind, just a ecchi/sexy pin-up piece.

Thank you very much for the critique! It was quite helpful!:love:
Reply
:iconadan-cricjer:
Adan-Cricjer Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Glad my ramblings could be of service! :)
Reply
:iconkirana-chan:
Kirana-chan Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
*gets out my crazy critique glasses and red line pen*

As I'm starting to type this I can say at first glance there is nothing that blares out at me anatomy wise,
so that's good. However after staring at the two of them a while I've found a few things and I'm going to try and find some refrences, so I don't know if people will post telling you the things I see before this gets posted.
Anyways~

This one is going to be a little akward but Twilights butt/back, it seems a little to flat and should probably have a little more curve to it. Even with fairly strait legs girls have well big butts like this [link]
The far right is a stance similar to Twilights so you can maybe get a little idea of what I'm talking about.
which leads me to her legs which should taper more as they come to her knees.
They aren't ginormously thick just a little which should also look better when you use shading so don't go over board with thinging just you know gental curve.

It took me a long time to figure this one out but twilights right arm is a little to curved. I think it's where you were trying to do her wrist that the mistake was made, and actually if you try the pose it's not very comfertable to do at the angle you have them. to fix this I would suggest testing the pose in a mirror. Prefor the pose you want and then draw what you see or have someone take a photo and work from it (or if you have a sister make her pose for you ;D )

The last thing I want to point out is Rarity's right art/brest/shoulder. You seem to have her elbow just under where Twilights left wrist is, yet her shoulder and brest would suggest that her elbow should be more her side (AKA spegetti arms :D)
I know this isn't the best example but it'll help you see what I'm talking about [link]
In the first picture see how her brest doesn't come up over her arm or rest on her arm, rather it falls behind. This is how it should be unless her brests are silly large and ther her elbow should be forward more and the brest go under, other wise it's an akward pose.

I think the pose is fine and the only other thing I'd pick out is Rarity's eyes, they are fine at the angle they are but with her personality I suspect she'd probably be looking lower at the clothing she just made. Even then I say becareful with that because it may end up like she's checking out Twilight more than the clothing which I don't think is somthing you're amining for. And if you are then I guess theirs no problem OwO
In other words you may want to play with them but save the strait eyes just incase.
Reply
:iconnauticalsparrow:
NauticalSparrow Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Ah I see so I have to give Twilight some booty? LOL You are totally right about the wrists (I just tried it, and it kind hurts lol) and I kinda do want Rarity's breast to be on the larger side (I dunno that is just how I picture her)

I wish that I could find reference pictures as easily as you guys seem too, I do look but google sucks for looking for what I want! Thanks for the refs! TuT and thank you SO much for the critique!:love:
Reply
:icondrchrisman:
DrChrisman Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
sweet but where twilight pants?
Reply
:iconnauticalsparrow:
NauticalSparrow Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
there are none.
Reply
:icondrchrisman:
DrChrisman Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
oh scipy :XD:
Reply
:iconmylittleprimo:
MyLittlePrimo Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
Twilight Sparkle is the sexiest pony in Equestria!
Reply
:iconmylittleprimo:
MyLittlePrimo Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
If you ask me, all it really needs now is color!
Reply
:iconmylittleprimo:
MyLittlePrimo Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
:iconpervplz::iconsaysplz:D8
Reply
:iconsweetiejack:
Sweetiejack Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
RD:So awes-
Rarity: Rainbow dash this doesnt concern you.
RD: But Rarity-
Rarity: No! As I was saying twilight-
RD: SO AWESOME!
Rarity: RAINBOW DASH!
Reply
Hidden by Owner
Hidden by Owner
:iconnauticalsparrow:
NauticalSparrow Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Ha ha :)
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:iconsweetiejack:
Sweetiejack Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
I do funny stuff like that alot. xD
Reply
:iconmamandil:
Mamandil Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I can't draw so I'm not sure I can make a critique, lolz. :<
The only thing a bit off to me are Rarity's hands. Crossing fingers like that must be really hard to draw.

Someone mentionned Rarity's eyes, but I don't think you should change them. She's looking at Twilight overall to see if this suits her properly (and it does :iconmegustaplz:)
Plus if you try to put the irises a "little more down" (I'm sorry I don't know how else I could say this lol), well we won't recognize the hearts anymore, and chances are she'll look like she's staring at Twilight's boobs. :<

So yeah... I guess that's it. Awesome sketch for sure! :iconwhywubwootsplz:
Reply
:iconnauticalsparrow:
NauticalSparrow Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
I like the hearts, but if I were to change the direction in which they were pointing I would make them into regular eyes and incorporate the hearts in another way, like for example the iris cold be the hearts or the eye shine could be the hearts, somthething like that :)
Reply
:iconanimemeerkat:
AnimeMeerkat Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
honestly, this doesn't really need that much criticism, its really good.
no, it's amazing! :D
Reply
:iconfluffytuli:
FluffyTuli Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
holy crap thats so awesome. how long did this take you to do ?
Reply
:iconnauticalsparrow:
NauticalSparrow Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
I couldn't give an accurate response because I sketched this months ago and have been coming back to over a period of time to correct errors, so I dun know lol :)
Reply
:iconfluffytuli:
FluffyTuli Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
still freaking awesome :D
Reply
:iconnauticalsparrow:
NauticalSparrow Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconmitsu-chiruno:
Mitsu-Chiruno Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Student General Artist
Oh my gosh! This is lovely! The outfit Twilight has on looks gorgeous! The hands look a little iffy, especially Rarity's, but I'm assuming they'll be fixed later on. Some reference will be useful if you need them ^^
Also, Twilights area above the privates looks a little.... big? Like, if you look here: [link] it's sunk in and bit more, but on your piece it's a little too round, I guess. I hope I'm making sense here x'D
Reply
:iconnauticalsparrow:
NauticalSparrow Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Yea I was wondering about Rarity's hands, I tried to fix them, but I guess I didn't get it lol, I think I understand what you mean about the lower stomach area now that I look at it again. Thank you very much for advice! <3
Reply
:iconmitsu-chiruno:
Mitsu-Chiruno Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Student General Artist
Glad I could help ^^ And yeah, hands are a pain in the ass, that's why I draw them all long and slender. That way it's so much easier x'D
Reply
:iconmask--chan:
Mask--Chan Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautiful. The anatomy is very good, but Twilight's legs bother me...It's outstanding honestly, but that's all I can find wrong. :aww:
Reply
:iconnauticalsparrow:
NauticalSparrow Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Yea someone else points ed out the legs to me too, they will be fixed :)
Reply
:iconthe1stmoyatia:
The1stMoyatia Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is just like what was in the first episode.
Reply
:icondarkapostlematt:
DarkApostleMatt Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
What Gizmo said
Reply
:iconrayhiros:
Rayhiros Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Critique? Hmm Anatomy: It is really good, Twilight right leg is a little to square looking and hmm I don't know the right hand looks a little bit bigger then the left one, but this could also come from the perspective it self. Otherwise very good.

Poses: Twilight looks good, a little surprised but showing of her "good sides" of her body. Maybe Rarity could be a little bit happier with the poses, she seems to be pushed by Twilight. XD

Expression: Are really good. But even with the hearts eye, Rarity should look on Twilights Body because she dressed her and not into her eyes XD But Twilights expression is really good.
Reply
:iconnauticalsparrow:
NauticalSparrow Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Ah thank you very much!:love:

Yeah I was wonder about her leg/legs, and it is totally possible that the hands look different sizes orz ouo;.

You are very right about Rarities eyes! Didn't even think about that! I will be changing those. I agree with you on her pose too, should be a little more dramatic. I actually wanted her to be "pushed out" from Twillight, what I had in mind was that Twilight was going to be the main focus and be all surrounded by Rarities magic like your just seeing her as her clothing changed (hence the movement in the hair).
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:iconrayhiros:
Rayhiros Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Ah that make sense ^^ with Rarity. And then I had like it seems also right about the pushing image of Rarity. But mostly I am happy, that I could help you. ^^
Reply
:iconnauticalsparrow:
NauticalSparrow Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Yeah thanks a bunch! <3
Reply
:iconrayhiros:
Rayhiros Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
It is always my pleasure. ;)
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